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05.30.08

Maybe we weren't meant to be. It always ends in my tears and my hurt. I feel insecure and alone even when you're right there. I know I make mistakes but you never seem to forgive them. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I wanted you so bad. I thought you were beautiful and perfect. And you are beautiful. But not so perfect. When I did get you it didn't turn into what I wanted. There's always a fight and always an upset. We're both hurting. Emotionally and physically drained. I want you to understand but I don't know how to tell you. We're supposed to be a team. We're supposed to carry the same tempo. Two metronomes ticking together. But we're always off beat. I annoy you. You hurt me. I feel incompetent. I've tried to understand but it just isn't working. you won't accept that maybe you're doing something wrong. And you are. So many things. But sweetie I love you and I need desperately for this to work. Without you I have nothing. I can't do this on my own. So I'll keep trying and I'll keep failing but maybe you'll realize you have to try too. //*

I don't understand why I got myself into this. So much commitment and so many emotions. And I said I wanted this forever. Now I'm not so sure. //*

I love you so much. You are my best friend. And maybe you're not the prettiest but I can trust you. I can cry on your shoulder and tell you secrets. You always forgive me. And I gave you up for someone I thought was more beautiful. Now I cry, realizing I made such a big mistake. You were always there for me, and you still are even when I ignore you for my other. You make me smile. You make me laugh. We just fit. But I've already gone too far to change directions. I'm so sorry I never saw this before. But every second I have with you will be my happiest moments. I wish we could take on this adventure together but I made my decision and I have to stick with it. But I need you to know and acknowledge that there will never be someone else like you and no one could ever replace you. I'll remember you forever and you'll always be the one that I truly loved the most with all my heart,
Kristyn xoxoxox