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09.24.09

"And as I stand here, looking at you, I wonder if there is ever going to be a day I get over your smile.When I will let go of the hugs you gave me, that I continue to feel. A day when I let go of the words you said to me, or forget how much I love you. But no matter what you did to me, or whatever happens to us, I know I could never get over, let go, or forget you.
I've learnt to keep my composure, to play it cool when really it's killing me inside. I've learnt to let it go, to let you go. Yet I still care and it, honestly, it sucks. I want to be out there, gone and away from you. I want to forget about you. I want to move on, but I can't, and I don't know why.
It's when I'm standing six feet from you and not being able to find the words to tell you how much I love you and how much I miss you... that I just want to scream to the whole room that I'm still in love with you. It's when I'm sitting alone with the phone in my hand, dialing your number and just hanging up... that I would trade a million tomorrows for just one more yesterday. It's when I'm really sad about something and need someone to talk to that I realize you're the only one who knew me at all. It's when I cry myself to sleep at night, and it hits me how much I would give to hold you at that very moment. It's when I think about you that I realize no one else in the world is meant for me."