Today the sun shines through my window right into my heart. Life is never to be expected. Life is never what you wanted. Somehow, it is always so much more.
I'm down in my basement, lying on my back with my feet against the wall and I'm listening to Kathleen Hanna on my stereo. She's seething, and uninhibited and somehow settling. She seems at peace with herself, which is something I can, in no way, claim for myself.
Society is a blister on my foot. Rubbing raw and slowing me down. It jabs and jeers at me, refusing to back out of my way. It's obvious this world was built by men for men. It's obvious where this world is trying to lead me.
But I won't follow that road towards wifehood. I won't relent and allow myself to be swept away like the other women I've seen in my life. I won't let the contractions of this world push a life of emptiness out of me. I won't give birth to my own self hatred.
Kathleen Hanna, Allison Wolf, Poly Styrene, Siouxsie Sioux, Brody Dalle, Corrin Tucker. I'm gonna be like you girls. I'm going to grow up fast, and grow up young. I'm going to shout at the top of my lungs because I believe with my wholeheartmindbody that I don't have to change myself, and in fact can morph the world around me instead, so I will be accepted.
I'm just a girl, but I'm not just any girl. I won't give in to nagging boys, I won't listen to bitching girls, I won't let the world tell me I'm not pretty enough, I'm not skinny enough, I'm too skinny, I'm not smart enough, I'm not dumb enough, I'm not fucking lady-like enough. Fuck, enough is enough.
Riot grrrl exists because I exist, and because other girls like me exist. So next time somebody tells you that you shouldn't be the way you are, or you shouldn't do something you want to do because girls aren't supposed to do it... Don't be scared to tell 'em "suck my left one."
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